Hilarious Old Photos from the PBA Website

One day, several years ago, yours truly was innocently searching the
web, y'know, for kicks (at work, of course). Long story short, I happened
upon the PBA (Professional Bowlers Association) website, where I
discovered...a goldmine! One of these photos was gracing the homepage, and
it rotated each time you visited. Needless to say, an veritable orgy of
refreshing and right-click "Save Image As.."-ing occurred. Now, without
further introduction, I present them to you.















Walter Williams Jr.- "Physics Help Him Beat the Lane and Make His
Millions". Well, if by physics you mean beer and nachos, then, yeah.














Pete Weber - "This Bad Boy Bowled a Perfect Game at Age 12".
Unfortunately, the Perfect Mustache still eludes him at age 55.














Jason Couch - "Hardest Working Bowler That Ever Lived". Are you sure
about that? Earl Anthony bowled his way through the Bataan Death March,
whippersnapper.














Brian Voss - "His Army Stint Gave Him Command of the Ball." And also
Clamydia. We're not sure how either helps his bowling.

















Chris Barnes - "Playing With the Pros Straight Out of the Gate". Rumor has it he wasn't averse to playing non-straight if it got him into the pros.

Asian Heavy Metal Bands of the 80's - A Tribute - Part One in an Ongoing Series

The 80's were the pinnacle of heavy metal in popular music, where just about anybody with hairspray, spandex and/or leather pants, and a guitar shaped like something that is not a guitar could get a record contract. In this ongoing series, Mynack explores the largely forgotten Asian contribution to this important art form.

Loudness!! YEAH! Kerrang!!! Thunder in the East! CRAZY NIGHTS!! LOVE IT!! Gotto Fight! Thas right...Gotto Fight!!

Loudness rocked to the core!!

Keep rockin' my Battleship Musashi, you Crazy Samurais.

Learn more about Loudness here.

The Kess Konnection - Epilogue

The Kess Konnection is pulled from an actual series of emails I exchanged with a (presumably) West African 419 scammer in 2004. I omitted a few of the more mundane messages in order to move the story along a bit, but what you read here was the exact, unedited exchange. The messages were passed back and forth over a couple of weeks, and after the last one, I figured it was over. However, two weeks later, out of the blue, this arrived:

Dear Don Mynack,

   complioment of the day!

  i don;t understand all you have send to me in your

 email.how are you and your family?please i and my

 mother will really like to know if you are going to

 assist us get the documents changed to your name so

 that they can make the delivery of the consignments

 to you in your country then after which my mother

 will give you the scret ocde/password  for you to

 open the trunk box and retreiove what you have spent

 before the sharing of the funds as stated in the

 proposal. so i will realy wants to know if you are

 going to assist us to setle the outstanding bills in

 securing your name been changed to your name before

 the delivery could be made to you.hope to hear from

 you soon.

    Regards and God bless.

  Oscar

I never replied. I don't know no Oscar, man - I'm a friend of Kess.

Update - Where Has Mynack Been?

Many, many, many of my loyal readers have been inquiring as to what I've been doing. Well, let's just say that a little 'ol blog about a truck drivin' troubadour is back!

The Kess Connection - Part 7 - An Invitation from Mynack

Our story so far - Don Mynack, a self-described "sap" with an Internet connection and a free email account, has been corresponding with Kess, a refugee from Africa.

Kess lives in a camp in Ghana. He has enlisted Mynack in a scheme to trick the security company holding his father's inheritance into releasing the money to them.

Kess's "solicitor", Mr. Peter PremPrem, earlier instructed Mynack to contact the United Safety Security Company, where Kess's father supposedly left his fortune. Mynack did so, but Peter PremPrem is demanding a fee of $1200 to cover "legal expenses". Mynack has stalled on paying this fee, along with bumbling all of Kess's instructions to the security company, prompting a stern rebuke from the refugee. Mynack has decided to up the ante with a personal appeal to Kess...

Compliments of the Day to you, Kess! Sorry I am being very much late in replying, but I have been undergoing gang initiation into the "Los Banditos" criminal gang and was away at their lake house in Pacoima, CA. I have learned very good techniques of manufacturing crystal methamphetamine from easily obtainable pharmaceutical and industrial supplies! They plan to set me up in my own trailer far in the deep woods, where I will spend my days "cooking" - which means making drugs, but also means cooking up huge profits!

Kess, let me tell you about an incredible ground-level business opportunity - Crystal Meth! All I need is a few motivated users/dealers like yourself, who love to make money, and love what they do, and we can all get rich! With the investment of your $12.5 million, we will be poised to "corner the market" in this unique and highly addictive product, a product that people will buy from us again and again! In fact, Kess, repeat business is the key to success in this industry!!

I know what you are asking, Kess, what's the downside here? Why wouldn't anybody do this? Well, the marketplace is currently dominated by another gang - The Blood Disciples. We will have to systematically eliminate their key distributors and territory, then move in with very low initial prices to achieve sufficient market share. This is where your capital will come in - we'll need some funds to offset our costs in this initial phase. Once we have achieved a sufficient customer base, and frozen out our rivals - we will put out prices through the roof!! Our customers won't care - they'll pay anything for this product once they become a dedicated user. It's foolproof I tell you, foolproof!


Sounds a lot funner than some old refugee camp, doesn't it, Kess? I thought you would say that!

Anyway, when you arrive here at the international airport with the funds and your mother, just approach the nearest Bandito (he will be disguised in a police uniform) and tell him that you have the money to make the Crystal Meth. Make sure he understands what you are saying - some of the Banditos are hard of hearing- so keep repeating until he offers you a "ride downtown". This will be our agreed signal that you are Kess and need to be driven to the Banditos secret clubhouse to meet Daddy Don Mynack.

Hope to see you soon!
Many Blessings, Donald P. Mynack

The Kess Connection - Part 6 - The Return of Kess!!

Our story so far - Don Mynack, a self-described "sap" with an Internet connection and a free email account, has been corresponding with Kess, a refugee from Africa.

Kess lives in a camp in Ghana. He has enlisted Mynack in a scheme to trick the security company holding his father's inheritance into releasing the money to them.

Kess's "solicitor", Mr. Peter PremPrem, earlier instructed Mynack to contact the United Safety Security Company, where Kess's father supposedly left his fortune. Mynack did so, but Peter PremPrem is demanding a fee of $1200 to cover "legal expenses". Mynack has stalled on paying this fee, and now Kess has learned of Mynack's inadvertent bumbling of the instructions to the security company to not tell them what the package contained...


Dear Dad,
compliments of the day!

I and my mother write to acknowledge your email that you sent across to us at the refugee camp.how are you and the rest of your family?..hope fine as i have always guess! Well things tae not thgat pretty easy for us here at the refugee camp because there is no good water and food.

Dad i and my mother went to the security company and we were told that you send them mails anwhich they do nopt understand by telling them not to open the consignments(trunk box).i will really like you to know that what is iis in that trunk box is the only thing we have left and we don;t want anything that we jeopadise the funds.I told you in my previous mail that when you wants to mail the security company you should have it at the back of your mind that they do not know the contents of the consignment(trunk box)that my late father told them that is family precious items and along with some Gold/Diamond but when you are mailing them incase you are been ask what is in the consignment(trunk box) all you have to inform them that is family precious belongings but we were told that you send a mail which they do not understand and that they don't have any right to open it as you are my late father estate beneficiary.

Dad all you have to been doing is to get acros to the lawyer so that he will be confronting the security company on your behalf as your laywer here which you were surpose to tell the security company that he his your attorney who will working on your behalf.

Dad please you should try and assist us over the money for the changed of name to your name since you are now the new benficiary to the consignments.You should sign the power of attorney and send it back for us to send it to the security company inoder for high court of justice will endose his signature to it that you are now the new beneficiary to the consignment and also for the security compnay to make the delivery without stress in tyour country at your international airport.

I and my mother hope to join you up soon to start up a new life with as a new family.

hope to hear from you soon

Regards and God Bless

Yours SON

KESIENA

The Kess Konnection - Part 5 - The Return of Peter PremPrem

Our story so far - Don Mynack, a self-described "sap" with an Internet connection and a free email account, has been corresponding with Kess, a refugee from Africa.

Kess lives in a camp in Ghana. He has enlisted Mynack in a scheme to trick the security company holding his father's inheritance into releasing the money to them.

Kess's "solicitor", Mr. Peter PremPrem, earlier instructed Mynack to contact the United Safety Security Company, where Kess's father supposedly left his fortune. Mynack did so, but Peter PremPrem is demanding a fee of $1200 to cover "legal expenses"...

Mr Donald,

I WILL FAX THE DOCUMENTS IN WHICH THEY USE IN
DEPOSITING THE CONSIGNMENT WITH THE SECURITY
COMPANY,INCUDED WITH THE POWER OF ATTONEY WHICH YOU
WILL SIGN AND SEND BACK TO ME FOR ENDOREMENT IN THE
HIGH COURT JUSTICE ACCRA.

THE POWER OF ATTONEY WILL BE ENDORSE IN THE HIGH COURT
WHICH THE $1200 IS BEEN PAID FOR ENDORSEMENT FEE.



PETER

Mynack replies with sobering news...


Dear Peter PremPrem,

I am writing to you with much disappointment.
Unfortunately, whilst en route to the Western Union
office, my scooter was attacked by bandits. I did my
best to fight them off or escape, but with my
disability, I could only run away in a circle, so
while I would temporarily escape, I would always bring
myself back into harms way. Eventually, the bandits
caught on to this, and would assault me, then watch me
run away, then wait for me to come back and assault me
again. This happened repeatedly for a period of 8
hours, after which the bandits eventually tired of me,
and even offered to drive me home to get rid of me.

Unfortunately, they kept the money, but did make me an
associate member due to the massive "beat down" that I
sustained. Blood in, blood out, chale. Viva Los
Banditos!

Anyway, I will do my very best to raise the funds
again, but I would suggest that you just pay for it
yourself, them take the money from Kess's share. He
doesn't need whole lot, since he lives in a refugee
camp and all.

Compliments of the Day to You, Mr. Peter PremPrem!!

Donald P. Mynack